Secretive Writer

Random Ramblings .. I write.. I live… I love..



Z for Zoomin ! #AtoZChallenge

Life s a mess.. always.. but if you Zoomin.. its filled with happy moments.. moments that are small.. but ever lasting !

It’s like capturing from a DSLR.. the more you zoom-in.. the more detailed the picture will be..

The more you zoom-in life.. the more you focus on the small bits of your day..

zoom-in to the cute smile of the stranger cause the bus is too crowded and you both are being crushed..

zoom-in to the small post-it smiley on your desk from your colleague..

Zoom-in to the eyes of your beloved.. when you say something incredibly cute.. the look..

Zoom-in to the moments that make the Bigger picture.. the life.. worth it!



Y for YOLO (You Live Only Once) #AtoZChallenge

You Only Live Once (YOLO), something that I have started believing all the more for the past some years..

All of us are blessed with just one life and we get to it live fully, then why not make the most of it? Instead of procrastinating it to some other event in your life, why not just do it now.. Live like there’s no tomorrow! At least that is what I think.

And Honestly, with all that has happened in my life, that’s what I have learnt  – You live only once.. do i t right.. or u’ll regret it all your life..

You have a job you hate.. QUIT and start over..

A marriage that doesn’t make you feel like going back home..  WALK OUT..

A someone you love.. GO CONFESS..

A trip you have been dying to make – Pack your bags and leave..

and if not, then some day in life..You’ll find yourself sitting on a bench, in the middle of winter, with a coffee, imagining how different it would be if you had made that move..


X for XO #AtoZChallenge

XO” is a song by American singer Beyoncé from her fifth studio album, Beyoncé (2013). Columbia Records released the song as the lead contemporary hit radio single from the album in the US and Italy on December 16, 2013.


Your love is bright as ever
Even in the shadows
Baby kiss me
Before they turn the lights out
Your heart is glowing
And I’m crashing into you
Baby kiss me
Before they turn the lights out
Before they turn the lights out
Baby love me lights out

In the darkest night hour
I’ll search through the crowd
your face is all that I see
I’ll give you everything
Baby love me lights out
Baby love me lights out
You can turn my light down

[Verse 2]
We don’t have forever
Baby daylight’s wasting
You better kiss me
Before our time is run out
Nobody sees what we see
They’re just hopelessly gazing
Baby take me
Before they turn the lights out
Before time is run out
Baby love me lights out

In the darkest night hour
Search through the crowd
Your face is all that I see
I’ll give you everything
Baby love me lights out
Baby love me lights out
You can turn my lights out

I love it like XO
You love me like XO
You kill me boy XO
You love me like XO
All that I see
Give me everything
Baby love me lights out
Baby love me lights out
You can turn my lights out

In the darkest night I’ll
Search through the crowd
Your face is all that I see
I’ll give you everything
Baby love me lights out
Baby love me lights out
You can turn my lights out

W for Wedding Vows #AtoZChallenge

As evident from my blog.. I am a big time Movie-Tv Buff.. A total Couch Potato.. a Hopeless Romantic who loves all those not mushy but love moments on the screen..

Initially, the idea was for “Him” and Me to write our wedding Vows ! and then that would be the post for today..

but then we had a stupid l’il fight..

so instead.. I am my favorite writing vows from TV shows and movies..

1. Chandler and Monica (F.R.I.E.N.D.S) 

Monica: Then three years ago, at another wedding, I turned to a friend for comfort. And instead, I found everything that I’d ever been looking for my whole life. And now — here we are — with our future before us, and I only want to spend it with you, my prince, my soul mate, my friend. Unless you don’t want to. You go!

Chandler: Monica, I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever had to do. But when I saw you walking down that aisle, I realized how simple it was. I love you . . . You are the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. You wanna know if I’m sure? (He leans in and kisses her.)


2. Meredith and Derek ! (Sob.. Derek’s no more) – Grey’s Anatomy 

Written on a Post-it note and signed by Meredith and Derek:

“To love each other even when we hate each other.
No running–ever. Nobody walks out no matter what happens.
We’ll take care of each other even when we’re old and smelly and senile.
This is forever.


3. Beverly Hills 90210: David Silver & Donna Martin

David: When was it that we fell in love? When we were 18? 16? Maybe 10. I don’t know ’cause the truth is I can’t picture a time when I wasn’t in love with you. I always knew you were the one that could look into my eyes and see my soul. I don’t question your commitment to us and I know there’s nothing that we can’t work through. And I accept you as my partner and as my best friend above all others. It’s a miracle to find the kind of peace and happiness that you’ve given me, and in honor of that miracle, I pledge before our family and friends to love and to cherish you forever.

Donna: I look at you and I see my best friend. Your energy and your passion inspire me in ways I never thought possible. Your inner beauty is so strong that I no longer fear being myself. I no longer fear at all. I never thought that I could find someone to love that would love me back unconditionally. And that I realized that although we are often apart, you are always with me, that you are my soulmate. You give me purpose when I feel I have none. Without you my soul would be empty, my heart broken, my being incomplete. I thank God every day that you were brought into my life, and I thank you for loving me.


4. Alex Karev (Grey’s Anatomy.. Am a l’il obsessed with this show)

Today’s the day my life begins.
All my life I’ve been just me.
Just a smart mouth kid.
Today I become a man.
Today I become a husband.
Today I become accountable to someone other than myself.
Today I become accountable to you.
To our future.
To all the possibilities that a marriage has to offer.
Together, no matter what happens, I’ll be ready.
For anything.
For everything.
To take on life, to take on love.
To take on possibility and responsibility.
Today Izzie Stevens, our life together begins.
And I for one can’t wait.

5. Sex and the City 2

Anthony Marantino: It was not exactly love at first sight. But it turns out, it was love. You are the first man to accept me . . . for the man that I actually am.


6. Paige & Leo (The Vow)

Paige: I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness and to have the patience that love demands, to speak when words are needed and to share the silence when they are not, to agree to disagree on red velvet cake, and to live within the warmth of your heart and always call it home.

Leo: I vow to fiercely love you in all your forms, now and forever. I promise to never forget that this is a once in a lifetime love. And to always know in the deepest part of my soul that no matter what challenges might carry us apart, we will always find our way back to each other.


Aweee…. Heart-Melting !!

P.S : to Him..

I will love you even on days I don’t like you ! (Like today)

V for Voices in my head #AtoZChallenge

Sitting in the corner of a room.. All I hear is the Voices in my head..

I am at a very important-cum-difficult-cum-Life changing stage of my life.. and at this moment, all i have is the voices in my head..

And I have multiple voices :

Voice 1 : Move to Bangalore. Forget all ties. Start Over !!
Voice 2 : Suicide. Its easy-simple.
Voice 1 : Shut up! she is not a loser..
Voice 2 : It’s not about being a loser.. It’s doing what seems easy and right for her..
Voice 1 : Right ? How can giving up a life be right ?
Voice 2 : it seems so to me..
Voice 1 : whatever !!
Voice 3 : Forget everything.. move to himachal.. take sanyas..
Voice 1 : and Him?
Voice 3 : He will find some-one..
Voice 1 : Why should her ? I wanna be with him..
Voice 3 : Someone better than you.. He deserves better..He kind-off has some-one else na.. he will be happy with her..
Voice 1 : Shut up ! Shut up ! shut up..
Voice 3 : Listen..
Voice 4 : (Random) You know what.. Derek died..
Voice 1 : Huh ? Really ?
Voice 4 : What ? It is sad.. She loved him !
Voice 3 : See.. Stuff like this.. that’s why she should take Sanyas..
Voice 1 : Oh Pleeeeasee.. Get a life..
Voice 5 : Could she…
All the voices in Chorus : Noo

and before the voices could make me crazy beyond my imagination.. He pinged.. and the voices buzzed off for now 🙂

U is for Undoing-Unlearning-Unloving.. #AtoZChallenge

How I wish I could unread books.. and read them again with the same excitement.. that I had , the first time I read it.. Woah !! How I wish I could Unlove you.. to fall in love with you.. the way I did.. a year back.. How I wish I could unwrite my blogs.. so to write the same thing.. maybe in an improved manner.. all over again.. How I wish I could undo things.. to do them again.. for the first time.. live that feeling again.. Undoing need not mean Regret.. it may simply mean.. Re-live like it is your first or Improvement !

S for Songs #AtoZChallenge


I am one of the most filmy persons ever !

At times (read : always) I wish that there were songs playing in background..

Some songs speak my heart out.. and some make me realise what my heart actually wants to say..

So, if at all.. my life did have background music.. then.. how would it be..


**drum rolls**

The song of love at first..or whatever number sight :- Kabhi Kabhi mere dil mein.. ki jaise mujhko banaya gaya hai tere liye..

Song of Being in Love :- Offo !!!

Dil ka dimaag se
Jhagda lagaaya kise
Peechhe ke darwaaze se ae..
Dabe paanv aaya kaise
Thoda sa kameena
Thoda bechara hai
Ishq bhoot sahi par yeh
Bhoot bada hi pyaara hai……

Or mayb..

Jeene ke ishaare mil gaye….

Meri Zindagi Main Teri Baarish Kya Hui
Mere Raste Darya Bane Behne lage…

Meri Karvaton Ko Tune Aake Kya Chhua
Kahin Khwab Neendon Ki Gali Rehne lage…

Song to sing to him..

On Happy Days : Tum Mile.. toh mil gaya .. ye jahan..

On Romantic Days : Mann mast magan.. bas tera naam dohraye..

On Fighting Days : Musu Musu haasi.. maana humse ho gayi.. ek choti si khata :p

On days of love – like u meant it : Jo tu mera humdard hai.. laut aaungi tere paas yahan.. waada hai mera.. mar bhi jaoon kahin..

Song while hugging (sad one, though): Lag jaa gale.. humko mili hai ghadiyan naseeb se 🙂

Song while making out (Ahem..) : 

Jal Jal ke dhuan.. Aaj Raat Ko Hosh Ki Hain Jaroorat Kaha – Aaj Sharam Se Koi Kehde Na aaye Yaha..

Song before separation :  Tujhse juda hokar mujhe door jana hai.. pal bhar ki judai.. phir laut aana hai..

Song during moment of separation (This one being my favorite) : Ye dooriyaan.. tera mujhe kar jaati hai dooriyan..

Song when missing each other : Banjar hai sab Banjar hai.. teri ek talash ko dekh piya..hum kitne saare kos chale..

Song when coming together.. Manchala… Manchala.. teri or..

My happy ending Song : DDLJ Music… lalalala / Jaane tu ya jaane na.. ending scen.. kahin toh.. UFF !!


What say? Whats your song??

R for Rains #AtoZChallenge

15th May 2014..

As always she needed her sign. “God ! Do I take this ahead. I like him.. more than that actually.. but long-run this is going to be complicated.. so, temme.. Gimme a sign ! Do I take this ahead :)”

She met him. They went to this particular spot .. her favourite place in Mumbai ! She had been there before.. She had in-her-own-way loved before.. But this .. it was not like before.. it was so different.. this love was special.. in a way it was forever.. she knew how difficult this relationship could be.. But she wanted to give this a shot, but wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to do.. for herself and most importantly for him..

She had wanted to hug him.. but didn’t know if she should.. Cause it would change things between them forever..midst of all this thots.. a drop fell from the sky.. and their there was another.. and then it rained.. (Drizzled to be more specific !) .

It felt as if it had just rained for her.. Rains were her favourite thing in the world.. and it rained in May.. It was her sign.. and within a micro-moment.. She hugged him..

He Exclaimed with a mixture of Shock and Excitement.. She couldn’t stop smiling.. “shit ! I made the first move.. what if its not what he wants 😦 “

On the way back.. she looked at the watch that she had gifted him the night before.. “I like the watch, its” 

“Yeah! I love it !  more than that I love the girl who gave it to me”

and that night he told her he loved her.. and she did too.. and it might have not rained a lot that day.. but it definitely rained love.. for them 🙂

15th May 2019..

She looks at the sea.. It is the same.. like it was five years back.. but everything else had changed. Tjat day she had found the person she thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with.. But life had its own plans.. Circumstances made her maintain unwanted distances with him. She was now living alone in Himachal Pradesh. But on this day every-year, she came to Bombay ! She came to the area where it had all begun, but not the same spot..

She was not sure if he would be there.. what if  he wasn’t ? what if he had moved on.. She had wanted to meet him but was scared that the last hope of being with him would die if he had moved on. She wanted to keep that alive.. she was scared to know the reality.. she had found her bliss in Ignorance.. but still, she knew it couldn’t go on like this forever.. So she prayed every year.. for a sign..

She was reliving those memories again.. when a droplet from the sky fell on her hand.. another one on her cheek.. she looked up with tears in here eyes.. It was Raining.. It was Raining !

With a nervous smile on her face.. and rainwater and tears  flowing from her face.. se walked.. for the first time in five years.. she walked towards the place that was her favourite place in the world..

Thanks to the un-expected rains.. the crowd had vanished.. but with rainy-blurred eyes she saw a man sitting at the same spot.. getting drenched..

She couldn’t see his face.. She walked closer.. close enough . His back was facing her.. but then she saw and smiled with all tears that had been treasured for all those years..

“That’s a nice watch you have. I like it. It’s nice na ? ” She choked, breaking down with all the happiness that this rain had given her.

He turned. Crying out of what was sheer -pure-happiness.. he muttered

“Yeah! I love it ! more than that I love the girl who gave it to me”

He hugged her before anything else could be said. They had waited too long for this.. The Rains stopped.. but their love had just begun !


Q for Quotes.. #AtoZChallenge

Here’s a list of some of my favourite quotes !!

“I’ve been making a list of the things they don’t teach you at school. They don’t teach you how to love somebody. They don’t teach you how to be famous. They don’t teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. They don’t teach you how to walk away from someone you don’t love any longer. They don’t teach you how to know what’s going on in someone else’s mind. They don’t teach you what to say to someone who’s dying. They don’t teach you anything worth knowing.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones

“It can be scary to find out you’ve been wrong about something. But we can’t be afraid to change our minds, to accept that things are different, that they’ll never be the same, for better or for worse. We have to be willing to give up what we used to believe. The more we’re willing to accept what is and not what we thought, we’ll find ourselves exactly where we belong.”

“Still round the corner there may wait
A new road or a secret gate
And though I oft have passed them by
A day will come at last when I
Shall take the hidden paths that run
West of the Moon, East of the Sun.”

At some point you have to make a decision. Boundaries don’t keep other people out; they fence you in. Life is messy, that’s how we’re made. So you can waste your life drawing lines or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines that are way too dangerous to cross. Here’s what I know, If you’re willing to take a chance, the view from the other side is spectacular.

“I do not trust people who don’t love themselves and yet tell me, ‘I love you.’ There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.”

“Out of the huts of history’s shame
I rise
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
I rise
I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.”
― Maya Angelou

“The best moments in reading are when you come across something – a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things – which you had thought special and particular to you. And now, here it is, set down by someone else, a person you have never met. And it is as if a hand has come out, and taken yours”
― Alan Bennett,


Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right-doing,

there is a field. I’ll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass,

the world is too full to talk about.

Ideas, language, even the phrase each other

doesn’t make any sense.


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