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Secretive Writer

Random Ramblings .. I write.. I live… I love..

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Little Nonsense

I’m the kinda girl who’ll want to take walks on empty streets in the middle of the night with ice cream and a little bit of company. The kind who’ll go to bookstores and scan around and buy a lot of books at one point and then none at all. I am not one bit sporting when I lose and I get so cranky that every one wants to chuck stuff at me. I’m the kind who’d want to make my house from flea market shopping. I get disappointed when people die in films and books and I get anxious when people lose love, even if it’s fiction. I cry a lot when I watch Kuch Kuch Hota Hai and Anjali realises it’s Tina he’s in love with. I don’t cry when genuinely not-so-nice things happen to me, till a point. I love swings. I will definitely have in my house. When I read or think, I twirl a strand of my hair on the top of my head.
Jannat songs make me sick. It just reminds me of a bad phase of my life.
I hate those nail cracking..noise.. the noise of chalk on the board.. you know what I mean.. my teeth start crackling.. Urgh !
People clicking me makes me feel very, very conscious.
I love white.
I’m addicted to Candy Crush. I’ve always wanted to do an oil painting with warm colours. Spicy Tangy food is my favourite things.
I don’t think ‘I Love You’s should be thrown around because they just mean way too much. Too much !
I hate Beer. I like brightly coloured umbrellas. I think i am loving to cook . I believe in soulmates, just not the forever part. I love glitter pens and coloured tapes and craft paper. I love stationery.
I like my Subway with cheese melted on the inside, not toasted, just melted. With LOT OF lettuce, cucumber, only two slices of tomatoes, lot of capsicum, onions, too much jalepeno peppers and no olives.. with lots of Southwest, Mint , Barbeque Sauce and lots of Sweet Onion. 
Just in case anyone wants to buy me one. 🙂
P.s : I was just too bored. I have written too much about him. So to divert myself, a little randomness about me 🙂
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Some day…

Some day, I want to drink and not remember what happened..
Some day, I want to be a hot shot Businesswoman and be a bitch to every one. Just because I can.
Some day, I want to teach little children.
Some day, I want to learn how to tune a guitar.
Some day, I want to get that spa.
Some day, I want to have a home theater and A penthouse with a beautiful terrace 🙂
Some day, I want to get around to complimenting generously.
Some day, I want to live with a friend and cook pasta for dinner..
Some day, I want to have 2 dogs – a Labrador and a Golden Retriever and call the first one Jaggu..
Some day, I want to get married on a beach and wear a really pretty dress. To someone who cannot believe how unbelievably gorgeous I am (even if that’s stretching it a bit, but it’s my wedding day). Who can’t take of his eyes off me.. And can put up with my dogs. And cooks really well.

Stay Happy, Stay Blessed..

Miss S 😄

100 Happy Days – Day 8

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Happiness is the best day for likes on my blog ☺

Stay Happy, Stay Blessed..

Miss S 😄

Pack your bags and leave !!

I am not hinting at any upcoming vacation plan of mine nor am I pushing my brain to make a plan for one.

Weekend usually gives a lot of time to think over matters which you have been pushing under the carpet over the past week or may some more time than that. And I am not talking about the chores to be done. I mean matters that are intangible in presence but very tangible in effect.  Matters of heart, so to say. (Weekend does that to me..over-thinker me).. And when there is some time at hand, mind does wander off. To far off places. To prohibited areas. To long forgotten landscapes.

On this unusually lazy weekend I decided to chuck everything and just BE ! I watched TV, some movies, some sitcoms and read a book. Also lied on the sofa just listening to the music. And that’s when my mind also wandered (like it never does otherwise!! Huh!). A trip down memory lane happened and you never come out of it chirpy, do you?

I realized there is so much clutter or baggage that we carry, some of it even unintentionally. We know we have to get rid of the aching memories or avoid falling in the same pit, but it takes time and may be somewhere we don’t want to do it. And honestly, if we take it all seriously, it is lethal. So why bear it in the first place or for so long?

Emotional-Baggage1

Acknowledging that i have been holding on to things for way too long, I resolved its time. It’s time to let it all leave my system for good. So why not tell that agonizing pain or that scar from a healed wound…Pack your bags and leave!!!

Yes, it is only that easy and that much difficult. We can either let it simmer inside us every single moment or let it out of our system once and for all.

And these are what I am talking about:

  • That love story gone awry
  • That friend who turned his back when you needed him/her the most
  • The decision that took you to a wrong direction in your career/personal life
  • The unfulfilled romance/ unrequited love
  • The hurt you have been nursing long after that person has gone
  • The promise that was never kept
  • The expectation that never got met
  • The tears that have now dried up but potent enough to give you a sleepless night
  • The relations that were once close and now are a sorry distant sight
  • Those people in your everyday life who do not deserve any bandwidth from you but end up getting the maximum attention

This doesn’t sound very simple but I am sure this is how you get rid of something that refuses to leave on its own. You have to show it the right door to leave and close that door behind it, forever.

So whenever you find yourself fighting with one such monster in your head, look in its eye confidently and tell him, yes you know that by now, ‘pack your bags and leave!’  🙂

Oh well, as I was busy saying goodbyes to some such monsters, I realized it was time to bring some nice positive and tangible change. Hence the new look of this blog. Tell me what you think of it.

Lots of Love and Happiness !!

Stay Blessed 🙂

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The blessing with sunrise is that it goes and it comes…

The trouble with sunrise is that it comes and it goes. And the gardens, when in a sombre mood, while filled with thorns, will be devoid of a single rose. I accept that clouds will hover sometimes and to give us false promise of rain. But, bubbles will form and bubbles will burst and bubbles will form again. Smilingly, I will say, silent will be my screams, cold will be my anger and empty will be my pain.

Sunrise_from_summit_of_Mt_Sinai

The one charm of the past is that it is the past. (by Oscar Wilde) But, the winds do not know this. Sometimes, the winds have come and gone centuries ago, but the leaves are still rustling today. A tiny part of ocean lives inside us. What are oceans, if not the tears of the earth? All the pain piled together at one place over time and time again. The pain of lost moments and lost dreams. The pain of the future that couldn’t be. What we are sad for is what we are. What we do to overcome the sadness is what we can be. All brave hearts are meant to be broken. A few braver hearts are meant to heal. All we need is a little will.

There is a reason why we can not carve a piece of our heart and keep it for safekeeping for a distant future. We are always in it with everything we have got. We can not catch a spark. It flickers and go. But, sometimes, it can bless us with a fire in our darkest times. Times that tell me, if I am the person I do not want to be or I am the person I imagined myself to be. Like most other things, perhaps, the truth lies somewhere in between.

Sometimes, I tend to sink under my own heavy heartbeats. When that happens, just tell me how we met, and I will find our happiness even in lonely streets. I want you to know, there was a place inside my heart that I had never visited before. The path, which led there, I never knew, existed. Until now.

Time and moments will rush by and we will remain strong together. WE. Me and Words. Words and Meaning. Meaning and Life. Life and You. Every time, we will trust each other, we will trust ourselves a little more. The path ahead is beautiful, colorful and also spotted with troubled rocks. Kiss them. They will turn into fragrant sunflowers. They will wait for the morning.Because, the blessing with sunrise is that it goes and it comes.

What if I don’t wake up tomorrow ?

For more than a month now , I have been sleeping with a hope of not getting up the next day..

and then today morning, When I felt really alone.. I thought to myself.. Is this ME ?

I have been someone who fought and did not wish for a easier way-out ever.. So, today instead of hoping that I don’t get up ..I thought of what if I really don’t wake up tomorrow ?

What will happen to the dreams I yet have to full-fill.. dreams of painting walls around the world, or becoming a home-chef..

What will happen to the unfinished stories in my head and the blank pages of my diary ?

What will happen to my hard-earned CA Degree ?

What about the people I forgot to confess my love to or the chances I never took ?

What about the places I am yet to see and the books I have never read ?

What about the life I wanted to cherish and the home that I wanted to build.. the wishes yet to be full-filled and the ones that I still have to make ?

Its’s not about the suffering of my family or the emptiness in the life of the Man I love.. The vacuum in the life of people who love me… It’s about Me !

Marital Rape.. Disgusting !

Marital Rape! Sensitive topic but the one that needs more discussion! Rape itself is a soul shattering tragedy that can strike any woman and when it happens within the confines of marriage and by your partner – it is not only soul shattering but is a blow to women’s self-respect and dignity. Men by nature are physically strong and when they showcase their strength by forced sex – then it’s a rape within the marital life.

While researching on the topic I came across lots of articles and printed material on the topic but struck me the most was the quote of the novelist Nilanjana Roy “all things we’ve been fighting for,” but said the government does not yet dare to tackle marital rape because it “strikes at the heart of the arranged marriage system. Aha! So here is the reason why marital rape is such a sensitive issue! Because it strikes at the traditional arranged marriage system but then isn’t arranged marriage another form of patriarchy – to have control over the newly married couple. However, this is a myth! It is not that arranged marriages means that your husband will be your rapist, here is the case where the man and woman chose each other and the woman now is being subjected to marital rape every night.

Over the years numerous countries have accepted rape within the marriage as a punishable crime barring the few countries where it is still an accepted norm to force oneself on one’s wife in the name of husbandly rights! If domestic violence is attacks on women’s self-respect, marital rape kills her soul and destroys her faith in the sanctity of marriage.

According to the facts and figures almost every second woman in the country is facing serious issues in her married life – be it domestic violence or sexual violence or Marital Rape as we know it. Husbands in all these cases have one thing in common and that is they are from patriarchal school of thought considering their wives as their properties and slaves. When a man considers his wife as a slave he treats her shabbily, abusers her physically, mentally and torture her with his hard-hitting words.

Unfortunately, India does not recognise sex within marriage sorry forced sex within marriage as RAPE! Why because it is sex within marriage is a husbandly right and WOMEN HAVE NO RIGHT to refuse her husband. In fact it is considered as mental cruelty against husband if a wife refuses her husband to have sex! Can you beat the irony here? Mental Cruelty against husband!? And what about the physical and sexual cruelty that man enforces on his woman? There is no account for that and absolutely no answer as well!
M is for Marital Rape! Sensitive topic but the one that needs more discussion! Rape itself is a soul shattering tragedy that can strike any woman and when it happens within the confines of marriage and by your partner – it is not only soul shattering but is a blow to women’s self-respect and dignity. Men by nature are physically strong and when they showcase their strength by forced sex – then it’s a rape within the marital life.
While researching on the topic I came across lots of articles and printed material on the topic but struck me the most was the quote of the novelist Nilanjana Roy “all things we’ve been fighting for,” but said the government does not yet dare to tackle marital rape because it “strikes at the heart of the arranged marriage system. Aha! So here is the reason why marital rape is such a sensitive issue! Because it strikes at the traditional arranged marriage system but then isn’t arranged marriage another form of patriarchy – to have control over the newly married couple. However, this is a myth! It is not that arranged marriages means that your husband will be your rapist, here is the case where the man and woman chose each other and the woman now is being subjected to marital rape every night.

Over the years numerous countries have accepted rape within the marriage as a punishable crime barring the few countries where it is still an accepted norm to force oneself on one’s wife in the name of husbandly rights! If domestic violence is attacks on women’s self-respect, marital rape kills her soul and destroys her faith in the sanctity of marriage.

Unfortunately, India does not recognise sex within marriage sorry forced sex within marriage as RAPE! Why because it is sex within marriage is a husbandly right and WOMEN HAVE NO RIGHT to refuse her husband. In fact it is considered as mental cruelty against husband if a wife refuses her husband to have sex! Can you beat the irony here? Mental Cruelty against husband!? And what about the physical and sexual cruelty that man enforces on his woman? There is no account for that and absolutely no answer as well!

Just BE

Just BE.

Love is..

Love is...

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