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Secretive Writer

Random Ramblings .. I write.. I live… I love..

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I’m the kinda girl who’ll want to take walks on empty streets in the middle of the night with ice cream and a little bit of company. The kind who’ll go to bookstores and scan around and buy a lot of books at one point and then none at all. I am not one bit sporting when I lose and I get so cranky that every one wants to chuck stuff at me. I’m the kind who’d want to make my house from flea market shopping. I get disappointed when people die in films and books and I get anxious when people lose love, even if it’s fiction. I cry a lot when I watch Kuch Kuch Hota Hai and Anjali realises it’s Tina he’s in love with. I don’t cry when genuinely not-so-nice things happen to me, till a point. I love swings. I will definitely have in my house. When I read or think, I twirl a strand of my hair on the top of my head.
Jannat songs make me sick. It just reminds me of a bad phase of my life.
I hate those nail cracking..noise.. the noise of chalk on the board.. you know what I mean.. my teeth start crackling.. Urgh !
People clicking me makes me feel very, very conscious.
I love white.
I’m addicted to Candy Crush. I’ve always wanted to do an oil painting with warm colours. Spicy Tangy food is my favourite things.
I don’t think ‘I Love You’s should be thrown around because they just mean way too much. Too much !
I hate Beer. I like brightly coloured umbrellas. I think i am loving to cook . I believe in soulmates, just not the forever part. I love glitter pens and coloured tapes and craft paper. I love stationery.
I like my Subway with cheese melted on the inside, not toasted, just melted. With LOT OF lettuce, cucumber, only two slices of tomatoes, lot of capsicum, onions, too much jalepeno peppers and no olives.. with lots of Southwest, Mint , Barbeque Sauce and lots of Sweet Onion. 
Just in case anyone wants to buy me one. 🙂
P.s : I was just too bored. I have written too much about him. So to divert myself, a little randomness about me 🙂
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Marital Rape.. Disgusting !

Marital Rape! Sensitive topic but the one that needs more discussion! Rape itself is a soul shattering tragedy that can strike any woman and when it happens within the confines of marriage and by your partner – it is not only soul shattering but is a blow to women’s self-respect and dignity. Men by nature are physically strong and when they showcase their strength by forced sex – then it’s a rape within the marital life.

While researching on the topic I came across lots of articles and printed material on the topic but struck me the most was the quote of the novelist Nilanjana Roy “all things we’ve been fighting for,” but said the government does not yet dare to tackle marital rape because it “strikes at the heart of the arranged marriage system. Aha! So here is the reason why marital rape is such a sensitive issue! Because it strikes at the traditional arranged marriage system but then isn’t arranged marriage another form of patriarchy – to have control over the newly married couple. However, this is a myth! It is not that arranged marriages means that your husband will be your rapist, here is the case where the man and woman chose each other and the woman now is being subjected to marital rape every night.

Over the years numerous countries have accepted rape within the marriage as a punishable crime barring the few countries where it is still an accepted norm to force oneself on one’s wife in the name of husbandly rights! If domestic violence is attacks on women’s self-respect, marital rape kills her soul and destroys her faith in the sanctity of marriage.

According to the facts and figures almost every second woman in the country is facing serious issues in her married life – be it domestic violence or sexual violence or Marital Rape as we know it. Husbands in all these cases have one thing in common and that is they are from patriarchal school of thought considering their wives as their properties and slaves. When a man considers his wife as a slave he treats her shabbily, abusers her physically, mentally and torture her with his hard-hitting words.

Unfortunately, India does not recognise sex within marriage sorry forced sex within marriage as RAPE! Why because it is sex within marriage is a husbandly right and WOMEN HAVE NO RIGHT to refuse her husband. In fact it is considered as mental cruelty against husband if a wife refuses her husband to have sex! Can you beat the irony here? Mental Cruelty against husband!? And what about the physical and sexual cruelty that man enforces on his woman? There is no account for that and absolutely no answer as well!
M is for Marital Rape! Sensitive topic but the one that needs more discussion! Rape itself is a soul shattering tragedy that can strike any woman and when it happens within the confines of marriage and by your partner – it is not only soul shattering but is a blow to women’s self-respect and dignity. Men by nature are physically strong and when they showcase their strength by forced sex – then it’s a rape within the marital life.
While researching on the topic I came across lots of articles and printed material on the topic but struck me the most was the quote of the novelist Nilanjana Roy “all things we’ve been fighting for,” but said the government does not yet dare to tackle marital rape because it “strikes at the heart of the arranged marriage system. Aha! So here is the reason why marital rape is such a sensitive issue! Because it strikes at the traditional arranged marriage system but then isn’t arranged marriage another form of patriarchy – to have control over the newly married couple. However, this is a myth! It is not that arranged marriages means that your husband will be your rapist, here is the case where the man and woman chose each other and the woman now is being subjected to marital rape every night.

Over the years numerous countries have accepted rape within the marriage as a punishable crime barring the few countries where it is still an accepted norm to force oneself on one’s wife in the name of husbandly rights! If domestic violence is attacks on women’s self-respect, marital rape kills her soul and destroys her faith in the sanctity of marriage.

Unfortunately, India does not recognise sex within marriage sorry forced sex within marriage as RAPE! Why because it is sex within marriage is a husbandly right and WOMEN HAVE NO RIGHT to refuse her husband. In fact it is considered as mental cruelty against husband if a wife refuses her husband to have sex! Can you beat the irony here? Mental Cruelty against husband!? And what about the physical and sexual cruelty that man enforces on his woman? There is no account for that and absolutely no answer as well!

Today I want to write about a girl and a boy and beating the odds.And about pure, old-fashioned love. The kind that’s independent of everything.
Today I want to write of sparkling sunshine and wooden roofs which lets in the sunshine.
Today I want to write about two people who met and had a story to tell. A story that became a legend. A story that had no beginnings and no ends. One which is young and old and so contradictory to every idea they held valuable.
Today I want to write about summers and stars, and the rains which came and went when they spread happiness.
Today I want to write about the Romantics. And art, and Galileo who loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.
Today I want to write about white lies and second chances. And third and fourth and fifth ones. And goodbyes and promises to come back.
Today I want to write about wavy curly hair and shampoo that smells wonderful. And chocolates brownies. And a little bit of heart-break for all the right reasons.
Today I want to write about all the seas there are, and all the salt in the air above them. And how all the best people are always slightly kooky up in the head, in the best way there is.
Today I want to write about the things that make me smile when everything is messed
Today I want to write about glorious endings and perfect tomorrows.
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W for Wedding Vows #AtoZChallenge

As evident from my blog.. I am a big time Movie-Tv Buff.. A total Couch Potato.. a Hopeless Romantic who loves all those not mushy but love moments on the screen..

Initially, the idea was for “Him” and Me to write our wedding Vows ! and then that would be the post for today..

but then we had a stupid l’il fight..

so instead.. I am my favorite writing vows from TV shows and movies..

1. Chandler and Monica (F.R.I.E.N.D.S) 

Monica: Then three years ago, at another wedding, I turned to a friend for comfort. And instead, I found everything that I’d ever been looking for my whole life. And now — here we are — with our future before us, and I only want to spend it with you, my prince, my soul mate, my friend. Unless you don’t want to. You go!

Chandler: Monica, I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever had to do. But when I saw you walking down that aisle, I realized how simple it was. I love you . . . You are the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. You wanna know if I’m sure? (He leans in and kisses her.)

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2. Meredith and Derek ! (Sob.. Derek’s no more) – Grey’s Anatomy 

Written on a Post-it note and signed by Meredith and Derek:

“To love each other even when we hate each other.
No running–ever. Nobody walks out no matter what happens.
We’ll take care of each other even when we’re old and smelly and senile.
This is forever.

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3. Beverly Hills 90210: David Silver & Donna Martin

David: When was it that we fell in love? When we were 18? 16? Maybe 10. I don’t know ’cause the truth is I can’t picture a time when I wasn’t in love with you. I always knew you were the one that could look into my eyes and see my soul. I don’t question your commitment to us and I know there’s nothing that we can’t work through. And I accept you as my partner and as my best friend above all others. It’s a miracle to find the kind of peace and happiness that you’ve given me, and in honor of that miracle, I pledge before our family and friends to love and to cherish you forever.

Donna: I look at you and I see my best friend. Your energy and your passion inspire me in ways I never thought possible. Your inner beauty is so strong that I no longer fear being myself. I no longer fear at all. I never thought that I could find someone to love that would love me back unconditionally. And that I realized that although we are often apart, you are always with me, that you are my soulmate. You give me purpose when I feel I have none. Without you my soul would be empty, my heart broken, my being incomplete. I thank God every day that you were brought into my life, and I thank you for loving me.

 

4. Alex Karev (Grey’s Anatomy.. Am a l’il obsessed with this show)

Today’s the day my life begins.
All my life I’ve been just me.
Just a smart mouth kid.
Today I become a man.
Today I become a husband.
Today I become accountable to someone other than myself.
Today I become accountable to you.
To our future.
To all the possibilities that a marriage has to offer.
Together, no matter what happens, I’ll be ready.
For anything.
For everything.
To take on life, to take on love.
To take on possibility and responsibility.
Today Izzie Stevens, our life together begins.
And I for one can’t wait.
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5. Sex and the City 2

Anthony Marantino: It was not exactly love at first sight. But it turns out, it was love. You are the first man to accept me . . . for the man that I actually am.

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6. Paige & Leo (The Vow)

Paige: I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness and to have the patience that love demands, to speak when words are needed and to share the silence when they are not, to agree to disagree on red velvet cake, and to live within the warmth of your heart and always call it home.

Leo: I vow to fiercely love you in all your forms, now and forever. I promise to never forget that this is a once in a lifetime love. And to always know in the deepest part of my soul that no matter what challenges might carry us apart, we will always find our way back to each other.

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Aweee…. Heart-Melting !!

P.S : to Him..

I will love you even on days I don’t like you ! (Like today)

To Belong…

I walk and stare at this growing abstraction in my life.
I’ve never stopped and seen..
always overlooked, and this day, it comes right at me.
Faltering and crashing
Like the waves of an ugly beach.
Littered and shallow,
Death be his foe, and I his friend.
I’ve never walked this beach before,
And the place seems new.
The routes all wrong,
And the wind turns around.
Stagnation and sorrow are my only friends,
Playing the Devil’s advocate,
Right in my head.
If only I knew, how to just run,
Walk through the soft sands of what was once
A land of mine
A place I belonged to
Wherein love and lust
Intertwined as two
Where happiness was permanent
And sorrow at bay
Where the lonely boats smiled
Leaving pain astray
Where the shallowness of life
Was replaced by the depths of passion
Where the single human eye
Found her reflection
Where she saw all his dreams
And they lived a life together
Where they knew even if the stream
Fell down to a river
And the river to the waterfall edge
They stood hand in hand
Heads held up
And faith in their heart.
They knew that one leap
Made all the difference
In death the bitterness of life
Never mattered on infliction
It was the strength of the supreme
The valor of love
That pulled two souls out together
Out of convulsed rapids, forever.

R for Rains #AtoZChallenge

15th May 2014..

As always she needed her sign. “God ! Do I take this ahead. I like him.. more than that actually.. but long-run this is going to be complicated.. so, temme.. Gimme a sign ! Do I take this ahead :)”

She met him. They went to this particular spot .. her favourite place in Mumbai ! She had been there before.. She had in-her-own-way loved before.. But this .. it was not like before.. it was so different.. this love was special.. in a way it was forever.. she knew how difficult this relationship could be.. But she wanted to give this a shot, but wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to do.. for herself and most importantly for him..

She had wanted to hug him.. but didn’t know if she should.. Cause it would change things between them forever..midst of all this thots.. a drop fell from the sky.. and their there was another.. and then it rained.. (Drizzled to be more specific !) .

It felt as if it had just rained for her.. Rains were her favourite thing in the world.. and it rained in May.. It was her sign.. and within a micro-moment.. She hugged him..

He Exclaimed with a mixture of Shock and Excitement.. She couldn’t stop smiling.. “shit ! I made the first move.. what if its not what he wants 😦 “

On the way back.. she looked at the watch that she had gifted him the night before.. “I like the watch, its nice..na?” 

“Yeah! I love it !  more than that I love the girl who gave it to me”

and that night he told her he loved her.. and she did too.. and it might have not rained a lot that day.. but it definitely rained love.. for them 🙂

15th May 2019..

She looks at the sea.. It is the same.. like it was five years back.. but everything else had changed. Tjat day she had found the person she thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with.. But life had its own plans.. Circumstances made her maintain unwanted distances with him. She was now living alone in Himachal Pradesh. But on this day every-year, she came to Bombay ! She came to the area where it had all begun, but not the same spot..

She was not sure if he would be there.. what if  he wasn’t ? what if he had moved on.. She had wanted to meet him but was scared that the last hope of being with him would die if he had moved on. She wanted to keep that alive.. she was scared to know the reality.. she had found her bliss in Ignorance.. but still, she knew it couldn’t go on like this forever.. So she prayed every year.. for a sign..

She was reliving those memories again.. when a droplet from the sky fell on her hand.. another one on her cheek.. she looked up with tears in here eyes.. It was Raining.. It was Raining !

With a nervous smile on her face.. and rainwater and tears  flowing from her face.. se walked.. for the first time in five years.. she walked towards the place that was her favourite place in the world..

Thanks to the un-expected rains.. the crowd had vanished.. but with rainy-blurred eyes she saw a man sitting at the same spot.. getting drenched..

She couldn’t see his face.. She walked closer.. close enough . His back was facing her.. but then she saw and smiled with all tears that had been treasured for all those years..

“That’s a nice watch you have. I like it. It’s nice na ? ” She choked, breaking down with all the happiness that this rain had given her.

He turned. Crying out of what was sheer -pure-happiness.. he muttered

“Yeah! I love it ! more than that I love the girl who gave it to me”

He hugged her before anything else could be said. They had waited too long for this.. The Rains stopped.. but their love had just begun !

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Q for Quotes.. #AtoZChallenge

Here’s a list of some of my favourite quotes !!

“I’ve been making a list of the things they don’t teach you at school. They don’t teach you how to love somebody. They don’t teach you how to be famous. They don’t teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. They don’t teach you how to walk away from someone you don’t love any longer. They don’t teach you how to know what’s going on in someone else’s mind. They don’t teach you what to say to someone who’s dying. They don’t teach you anything worth knowing.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones

“It can be scary to find out you’ve been wrong about something. But we can’t be afraid to change our minds, to accept that things are different, that they’ll never be the same, for better or for worse. We have to be willing to give up what we used to believe. The more we’re willing to accept what is and not what we thought, we’ll find ourselves exactly where we belong.”

“Still round the corner there may wait
A new road or a secret gate
And though I oft have passed them by
A day will come at last when I
Shall take the hidden paths that run
West of the Moon, East of the Sun.”

At some point you have to make a decision. Boundaries don’t keep other people out; they fence you in. Life is messy, that’s how we’re made. So you can waste your life drawing lines or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines that are way too dangerous to cross. Here’s what I know, If you’re willing to take a chance, the view from the other side is spectacular.

“I do not trust people who don’t love themselves and yet tell me, ‘I love you.’ There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.”

“Out of the huts of history’s shame
I rise
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
I rise
I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.”
― Maya Angelou

“The best moments in reading are when you come across something – a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things – which you had thought special and particular to you. And now, here it is, set down by someone else, a person you have never met. And it is as if a hand has come out, and taken yours”
― Alan Bennett,

 

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right-doing,

there is a field. I’ll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass,

the world is too full to talk about.

Ideas, language, even the phrase each other

doesn’t make any sense.
-Rumi

 

Song of the Day : Look Away – Chicago #NowPlaying

Look Away” is a 1988 song by American rock band Chicago

The lyrics for “Look Away” were inspired by Warren after speaking with a friend who worked in the same building. “She had gotten divorced and remained friends with her husband,” Warren recalled. “I was in her office, and she was talking to him, telling him that she had met somebody else that she was going to marry. Even though they were still friends, I think on some level he thought they’d get back together. When she told him that it was really the end of the relationship, I thought, ‘Wow, there’s definitely a song here.'”

When you called me up this mornin’
Told me ’bout the new love you found
I said, “I’m happy for you, I’m really happy for you”

Found someone else
I guess I won’t be comin’ ’round
I guess it’s over, baby
It’s really over baby, whoa

And from what you said
I know you’ve gotten over me
It’ll never be the way it used to be
So if it’s gotta be this way
Don’t worry baby, I can take the news, okay

But if you see me walkin’ by
And the tears are in my eyes
Look away, baby, look away

If we meet on the streets someday
And I don’t know what to say
Look away, baby, look away
Don’t look at me
I don’t want you to see me this way

When we both agreed as lovers
We were better off as friends
That’s how it had to be
Yeah, that’s how it had to be

I tell you I’m fine
But sometimes I just pretend
Wish you were holdin’ me
Wish you were still holdin’ me, whoa

I just never thought
That I would be replaced so soon
I wasn’t prepared to hear those words from you
I know I wanted to be free
Yeah, baby, this is how we wanted it to be

But if you see me walkin’ by
And the tears are in my eyes
Look away, baby, look away

And if we meet on the streets someday
And I don’t know what to say
Look away, baby, look away
Don’t look at me
I don’t want you to see me this way

If you see me walkin’ by
And the tears are in my eyes
Look away, baby, look up away

And if we meet on the streets someday
And I don’t know what to say
Look away, baby, look away
Don’t look at me
I don’t want you to see me this way

If you see me walkin’ by
And the tears are in my eyes
Look away, baby, look away
Don’t look at me
I don’t want you to see me this way

When you called me up this mornin’
Told me ’bout the new love you found
I said, “I’m happy for you, I’m really happy for you”

L for Love Letters #AtoZChallenge

L for Love Letters #AtoZChallenge.

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