Secretive Writer

Random Ramblings .. I write.. I live… I love..



When I wake up…

Rather like a dream on waking;

In moments where wakefulness itself is unaware of being,

I reach out for you content in half knowledge

and bokeh memories that disperse with light.


It rains…

Getting up early on a cloudy morning, knowing that the feeble light that enters your room had divorced the boring, punctual time long back, is agonizing. It brings about waves of feelings rushing unto your mind. The outstation boy starts missing his home, the scent of his mother that only mothers have. The city girl is caught indecisive between the immediate and the moment later – she chooses to stay at bed convincing her of an illusion of the alarm. And the writers wait for the sound of rain. Cloudy morning dullness is pandemic. It touches all, paused to let each one of us have a philosophical view of life that has been and that is to be on a balance sheet.

Rain blushes with poetry from an old window view, the same gushes with disgust in an water-logged street. Most of the Cities in tropical India are a pampered child along the south while the northern parts of them are still parental – they are orthodox, troubling and still warm. People excuse themselves in the name of rains for missing out on zeros that sit on the right side of any random number. Children act, if better they miss the school bus. There is a happy union all of a sudden as the family sits down to have khichdi and papad. There is a glow in the mother’s face that doesn’t need any astronomical help to be recognized. Suddenly she gets two of her most faithful audience to talk about an ordinary life. Her warmth increases with cohesion.

Surprising as it is, one big umbrella shelters two genders underneath. Drizzles are as romantic as they sound and as they pour. There is an otherworldly charm in not visting western concretes still colonizing our cities. They sit on an bench, umbrella guarding them more from the intruders than the gravitating clouds. The umbrella was never enough for the two. But, when he recited a shy poem, the drops on her face could find a stream to hide in the name of rains. He did not notice. She did not want him to. Quietly rains condense. And so does love.

Life in rains has always been expansile. It has been about a little bit of glum, a handful of romance and lazy surprises. If there was ever a time to write a poetry, it is now. If there was ever a time to gift a flower, do not wait. If there was ever a time to say someone let us go to the sea, do not carry an umbrella.

Life was never so much about soaking in itself, but everything around it.

So it rains.

One Love..Again

I found this written in an old book.. maybe written almost two years back.. it’s a stupid one and very amateurish.. still for memories sake.. I will post it..


She sat there buttering the already buttered toast, finally placing it on his plate. His hand emerged from behind the newspaper picked up the toast and vanished behind it again, she could hear the ‘crunch’ as he bit into it. He liked his toast just that way put in the toaster with the timer set on ‘two’. For breakfast, he had exactly three toasts one buttered two with marmalade she was making and a mug of coffee made with milk powder mixed just before drinking. The coffee powder-his special brand nothing else sugar exactly one teaspoon. She would keep looking at his car till it turned around the corner, out of sight. Lately she had started taking extra care of his comforts, his breakfasts,his laundry,his towels and bed-sheets. More often than not when he was not home, she found herself curled up on his side of the bed because it had his scent. More often than not she caught a tear escaping her eye on the sly as she watched him leave for office, just like today.

He got into the car, the driver closed the door behind him got in the car and he was on his way to work, he wondered if she still looked at the car from behind till it was out of sight? but did not turn back to look. Every morning they sat at the breakfast table together, she would make breakfast just the way he liked it, the toasts, the coffee. He even suspected her to have been paying careful attention to his laundry, towels and bed sheets. But could not muster the courage to fold the newspaper and look at her, take her hand in his and kiss it like he so wanted to.
More often than not these days he found himself staring at her face as she slept at night, gently touching the bangles she always wore or brushing aside a strand of hair
from her face. More often than not he caught himself stealing glimpses while pretending to be asleep when she came out of the bath. Her hair loosely playing around her neck, her scent filling the room and his senses. More often than not he found himself staring at her pictures in his lap top while going or coming from work just like right now.

They had a love marriage, they started in a one bedroom apartment and had promised to work hard and build themselves their dream home. Back then, they would have breakfast together and she would have to push him out of the house so he doesn’t get late for work. In the evening, he would come home, heap her in his arms kiss her forehead, they would have dinner together talking about the day, make plans for the future. He would kiss her hand and they would sleep in each others arms. Or he would kiss her hand and that would be the beginning of a wonderful sleepless night. Now many of those plans had taken shape, they lived in a wonderful apartment in one of the most expensive ares of the city, the only constant that remained from their past life were the sleepless nights, only they weren’t wonderful anymore. Each lay on his or her side of the bed thinking of the same thing, thinking the other person was asleep, thinking how he missed the other person. Wondering if the other person felt the same. But never knowing, never trying. This had been going on for some time now, their silence had grown into a fragile,insurmountable wall. This went on for some more days.

Then one night something different happened, he came home late as usual, entered the bedroom and found her asleep at his side of the bed, wearing one of his shirts and her shorts, her legs curled together. Normally he would have been upset she spoiled the iron, but he kept his bag on the table, dropped on the floor in front of her. A tear trickled down his eye as he kissed her hand. The familiar long-lost sensation woke her up, she saw him there and all at once, the wall crumbled. Her eyes welled. He hugged her . She was looking at him smiling, not believing he had been there all this while she just had to be on his side. He kissed her forehead, he brushed aside the hair from the nape of her neck, and kissed her…

the night was sleepless, wonderful..all over again !

bas yun hi tumhari yaad aa gayi..
bas yun hi socha ..

ek aarzoo,vo adhuri si nazm puri kar loon..
jo adhi takiyon pe, adhi silavton meh chod di thi
unhi silvaton meh tumhari sanson ki mehek yaad aa gayi..
bhule se baithe the hum… ek dusre ki yaad ko…
ek hi chhat ke neeche.. ghum se gaye the na?
bas yun hi dil ne kaha.. kuch baat toh karoon
toh baton baton mein… tumhari baat yaad aa gayi..

Traits of May Born – OMG !! this so applies to me :p

Most people who have their birthdays in May are independent. They are possessive of the things and people they have in life. ‘I’m not the jealous type. But what’s mine is mine. End of story.:PThey spot beautiful things with the blink of an eye. They make efficient financial managers. However, like everyone else, our May buddies also have both sides of personalities like these.

1. Sharp thoughts rule their brain- They are self motivated.


Quite mature they are when it comes to requiring a push to do something. Once they set their eyes on something, the May borns will persistently put in all the efforts to get it. Failures and setbacks rarely dampen their spirits.

2. Attracts attention and affection of people.

‘Tera dhyaan kidhar tera hero idhaar hai!!’ Sensual inside out, these people arouse you to be in their vicinity all the time. Hence, they like people surrounding them. If that is not the case, they become self indulgent and not really feeling the need of a company.

3. Love to dream, but with open eyes!

With dreamy eyes, they make future plans independently. Having a strong and clear vision of thoughts, these plans are very practical and materialistic to secure their future and maintain a certain image in the society.

4. Spendthrift- Girls! Go grab him or else he will be taken:P

May borns have a tendency to spend money on things that might not be required for a living. They try and maintain a set standard of themselves, which leads to over-spending. Because of this, they don’t think much before spending on their loved ones too. But but but people… when it comes to savings, they become frugal. You are lucky if you have a May born loved one.:)

5. Systematic, with a stubborn approach.

‘Keh diya na bas… keh diya!’ Though they are easy going and respectful, they can be unbelievably stubborn and inflexible in their approach. So much so that when the logical arguments don’t suit them, they will just refuse to listen! Something that left brained people usually do.

6. They like literature, arts and financial management.

May borns are a lover of both emotional and practical pursuits of life. knowledgeable things attract them and if given a chance, they try to make this interest as their career choice too.

7. They love to travel and hate being at home.

Yes! May borns are globe trotters. Travelling and seeing the World and it’s diversified culture is their passion. They don’t like to be dependent on their parents, husbands or grandparents. They prefer to make their own money and work hard to have anything they want or need in life.

8. Restless- Yes… almost all the time:|

Why this kolaveri di! even we don’t know why, but they seem to be restless all the time. sometimes they themselves don’t have any clue about it. they just have it in their nature.

9. Hard working, strong willed yet can be easily consoled- Baat pasand aani chahiye..bas!

They believe in doing the job right rather than being the first one to do the job. they are good in decision making, but if they get a more realistic approach on a situation, they agree to the opinion and get consoled by it. But don’t get fooled! Their self-indulgent streak makes them rude, and ignorant of others emotions.

10. Very lazy, but not when it comes to being possessive-Super active stalkers they are!
class (11)

Everyday things don’t get them going on their feet. But when they need to find out something about someone, they are like an unpaid private investigator. They will know it even if you have gone for a walk all by yourself! Highly unwanted trait!

11. Short-tempered- Gussa to inki naak pe rakkha hota hai

This makes their mouth work faster than their mind. Lol.:D Though this temperament is short lived if the person dealing with it knows how to handle the situation and preventing it from getting translated into jealousy and resentment.

Ab Aur kya kahein… There are so many things that make them what they are. And they are truly awesome! Everyone has good and bad traits. People who don’t let the bad ones over power the good ones manage to make their life worth living happily. Enjoy the roller-coaster ride peeps!

Love is..

Love is...

The Second Century Race..

194 Blog- Posts !!


Which will reach the second century Mark first ???

P.S : Apparently – today was the best day for likes for the blog 😀

Thanks & Love !

Now Playing : Naam Adaa likhna (Yahaan)

Written by the brilliant Gulzar, Naam Adaa Likhna is one of the truly romantic songs written in the last few years. Written for the Minissha Lamba & Jimmy Shergill starrer Yahaan, the song with its lovely visuals gets a beautiful feel of the love between the characters.

This one of the few songs that really calms me down when I listen to it and always puts a smile on my face…
This is a song of young love, the kind that fills hearts with hope, against all odds….

Lyrics & Translation:

Puche Jo Koi Meri Nishaani
Rang Hina Likhna
Gore Badan Pe
Ungli Se Mera Naam Ada Likhna

Kabhi Kabhi Aas Paas Chand Rehta Hai
Kabhi Kabhi Aas Paas Shaam Rehti Hai

Aau To Subha Jao To
Mera Naam Saba Likhna
Burf Pade To Burf Pe
Mera Naam Dua Likhna

Zara Zara Aag Vaag Pass Rehti Hai
Zara Zara Kangde Ke Aanch Rehti Hai

Jab Tum Haste Ho, Din Ho Jata Hai
Tum Gale Lage Toh, Din So Jata Hai

Doli Uthaye Ayega Din To
Pass Betha Lena
Kal Jo Mile To mathe Mein Mere
Suraj Uga Dena

Kabhi Kabhi Aas Paas Dhup Rehegi
Kabhi Kabhi Aas Pass Rang Renhege

Puche Jo Koi Meri Nishaani
Rang Hina Likhna
Gore Badan Pe
Ungli Se Mera Naam Ada Likhna


Translation for people who do not understand Hindi – Enjoy !!

If they ask you my identity, say-
I am the colour of Henna
As traced by your fingertips on my fair body
I am spelt Grace

Tell them the moon hovers around me at times
And at times I am wrapped in the dusk of the evening
Write down my name as morning, when i arrive
Put it down as night when I leave
And when the snowflakes begin to fall
Scribble my name on the fallen snow as prayer
Tell them, there’s the blaze of fire about her
and at times, the comforting glow of the kangri

When you laugh, the day fills up with sunshine
And when you embrace me, the day lulls itself to sleep

And when the day comes as a newly-wed in a palanquin
take my hand and make me sit next to you
and if you find tomorrow
make it sprout the sun from my forehead

If they ask you my identity, say –
I am Henna
Tell them the sun shines around me at times
And at times I’m enveloped in colours of myriad hues…


Some moments are real,
some are fake,
some stories actually happen,
and some we make…
if every good thing
has been said and done,
wonder would life still gift us those treasure of fun 🙂
while everybody were looking
for the best thing they can find,
i would hold you and say,
“i would ve found you even if i was blind.”
Some people love,
some people hate,
some people beleive this life isnt perfect,
some think the the key is just to wait.
while nations cary out war..,
i scream “cheers” with you
for this day at our hangout bar 🙂
some say the future is dark,
some say its not,
some live in their past,
some are so glad that it didn’t last.
i listen to them confused,
what is comin up next ???
you tap my head and say “relax..!!
tommorow is coming with something new and best”
so whats the moral,
what am i trying to say here?
i seem to have lost my sense and nothing is really clear
confusion wraps me up,
somebody please get me
another glass of wine (It would make the poem…!!!!
and that time may test us,
but I know for sure that you are all mine 🙂

Bad & Beautiful :)

Following are some of the wonderful, beautiful & surprising things to happen to a person, in no particular order (All experienced. Mostly! ).

  1. To wake up to the sound of the music in your dreams or even birds chirping!
  2. To witness a sunrise or sunset…it’s glorious I tell you…& the smell of mint leaves, arriving rain, wet earth, flowers and books!
  3. To listen to beautiful music…Old Hindi Songs.. Soft Songs 😀
  4. To find everything perfect in your house after you haven’t been there for a week..
  5. To have a loved one hug you and tell you they love you.
  6. To get a surprise gift.
  7. To help someone in genuine need or make someone else happy
  8. To feel blessed and to realise how great God is…
  9. To fall in love, all the manifestations are included here & to love and be loved!
  10. To finally get something you’ve been yearning for (A wish fulfilled or even finishing the last paper!)
  11. To laugh long and loud.
  12. To fell se*y and have people appreciate you.
  13. To drink cold water when you’re parched and to eat when you’re hungry or even have anything specially yummy (Which could be anything at a specific moment) but specially chocolate and toast sandwiches.

P.S. Science Fact: You become happy because of the enzyme/chemical called dopamine.

Some irritating things:

  1. To have chewed chewing gum stick to you (Yuck…you feel like strangling the person who left it there!).
  2. To be blocked or pushed away when you’re bubbling with happiness and want to say something.
  3. To be shaken awake when you’re in the middle of a beautiful dream or are really sleepy.
  4. To Not get something you really really want.
  5. To put poked, put down, insulted before people you know or want to know(like at a party and you end up seeing that college bully who made your life hell then, and now is going to ruin your chances of ever impressing the attractive girl or guy you’ve been wanting to go out with forever but were planning to ask today!).
  6. To regret (It’s bad, sometimes awful because you can’t change anything).

Yes, so that’s for my ‘Bad and Beautiful’ blog. Not very inspired writing but you need to be in the element to write these things with passion and fervour…so I’ll try to edit this when I’m in a blacker or more buoyant mood!

Until then…

Blog Question: Isn’t love selfish too? At least from the human side, I mean. We’re interested, i.e., love the other person only because he/she shows more interest in us than we take in ourselves…so isn’t it a kind of reciprocation?

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