Secretive Writer

Random Ramblings .. I write.. I live… I love..



The Incomplete Goodbye..

Sitting at the window of their favorite restaurant.. Sameer looked around.. it seemed like yesterday, when they had visited this place for the first time.. Rhea had loved the decor and they both, Big foodies, had loved the food 🙂

Rhea : Look at the dim lights, we will use the same for our home, okay ?

Sameer : Yeah.. it’ll be your home.. do it the way you like..

Rhea : Lazy bum, it’ll be our home..

Sameer : Oh yes ! Our home..

and he touched her hair strands falling on her cheeks and put it aside.. She loved it when he did that.. she wished her hair would fall more on her face so he could do it often..

His thoughts were disturbed by the waiter. He looked outside.. a cab had halted and Rhea had stepped out.. She looked simple.. still  attractive.. he kept gazing at her and wished he could feel the way he did for her earlier..

They had a perfect love story till Rhea had to marry some-one else under family pressure. 6 months later Rhea realized what an ass her husband is.. He was an %$*&^)#@ who believed that women are made for household work. Forcing her into physical relationship without her consent, dominating her over every thing.. She had had enough. She left him against her family’s will.. It was the most difficult time in her life.. The world seemed against her but Sameer was there for her. Always.

After the divorce, Rhea took up a new course and moved to another city. Sameer had to finish his studies too. They both agreed that they needed time off. Rhea had been through a lot and needed her confidence, her life back. She gave all her energy and time to her new course and new job.

Sameer too got busy with his MBA and on weekends he would spend it with old friends and Shruti..

Sameer, Rhea and Shruti were a gang.. Things were perfect till Sameer and Rhea started having feelings for each other.. Shruti came to know about it later, a little too late, cause by then she had feelings for Sameer herself.. But she let it go.. Rhea always thought that Sameer and Shruti are perfect for each other but she loved him. They all had accepted all of this between them and tried to keep the friendship unchanged. With Rhea away, Shruti and Sameer spent a lot of time together. A year later, Sameer felt so distant from Rhea that it didn’t feel like a relationship anymore.. and he didn’t even realize when the friendship between Shruti and him and turned more than just being best friends..

Today, it had been 2 years from the time Sameer and Rhea had met.. They had a very honest relationship from the start.. Today, Rhea was herself again and couldn’t wait to meet Sameer.. On the other hand, Sameer had to tell her about Shruti..

Rhea entered and hugged Sameer.. She couldn’t stop her tears.. The happiness to see him after so long, it was nothing she could express.. Sameer felt equally happy to see her but what he was going to tell her would change things forever..

A few silent conversations later, Rhea said with a grin: So, you’ve put on weight.. See, I told you,you’d look hotter with a little weight..

Sameer smiled : I was always this hot..

Rhea : Yeah Sure..anyways, how have you been ? and any job placements yet ? How are your Mom and Dad ?

Sameer : Hello, breathe ! KBC !

Rhea smiled : It’s been so long

Sameer wryly smiled : Yes, It’s been too long. *pause* Rhea..

Rhea looked scared.. : This has been first time in years that I am hearing you say my name.. It feels weird..

She didn’t say it but she felt that this one word has increased their distance more than ever before.. he never called her by her name.. never..

She looked in his eye.. she realized there was something he wanted to say and by the look of it.. it felt like she is gonna hate it.. She had knew every heart-beat of his..

He was staring her right in the eye..It wasn’t the way he looked at her..

and then she realized how difficult it is for him to say whatever he was trying to.. and then she took a deep breathe, looked down and asked him in a shivering voice.. Is.. is there someone else ? are you someone else..?

Sameer held her hand.. He had loved her with all her heart and hated to do this ti her.. but he couldn’t love her more.. He couldn’t hide it from her.. Yes.. I didn’t know how.. but it just.. I Know.. but..

He couldn’t find the right words..

There was silence for what felt like hours to them. She have had nightmares of this, but always thought that their love was old-school and forever types.. but then, she knew he did love her truly for the time they were He had been though a lot for her.. He didn’t give up on her when it was the easiest to do.. but then people grow up and people grow apart.. it doesn’t mean that it wasn’t love.. it just means that .. she couldn’t think of what that meant..

She realized he wouldn’t have done this if he had any control over feelings.. she knew that he was the last person on earth who would wanna hurt her deliberately.. He had given her a lot.. She couldn’t take it all away for this.. He was human.. It was bound to happen..

and then she looked at him and asked : Shruti ?

He nodded and she smiled.

They had this innumerable fights which would always end with Rhea saying “We are way too different and Shruti is your soulmate.. go, go marry her..” She always was possessive about him towards Shruti but she also knew that they were best friends and with time she had made peace with it..and now, everything she had imagined was coming true.. It was heart-breaking but funny..

She kept smiling.

She wanted him to be happy.. with or without her.. he deserved it.

She picked her bag and came on the other side of the table to hug a little lost Sameer.. and said “I love you enough to let you go but I can’t say a goodbye.. I hate it but let this be a unfinished-incomplete goodbye.. cause it leaves me with a hope..” she kissed him on his forehead and never looked back !



P.S : Please do lemme know what you guys think of this story ?


L for Love Letters #AtoZChallenge

L for Love Letters #AtoZChallenge.

Start a New Life !

Ananya was born in a traditional Brahmin family where, girls couldn’t sit next to their elders and faces were still covered with Ghungat(Veil)..However, Ananya was the black sheep of the family..She chose a career which no-one approved of. She was a true work-a-holic and worked for nights which again, created issues in her family as “ladkiyan der raat tak kaam nahi karti’. She had believed that you live life only once and she wanted to live it completely.. but she knew she didn’t wanna hurt anyone.. So, the live-life-at-my-own-terms Ananya was often pushed away giving place to the bhartiya-nari Ananya.. It was a ok-ok kindda life, until, she fell in Love with Krish. He was the friend who had seen her cry over heartbreaks and loved her then. He had seen her at her worst and loved her then. HE had simply loved her at all phases of life. IT took her a lot of time and arguments with herself to finally accept her Love for him.. bcoz she knew it wasn’t gonna be easy with him.. they had a 4 year age gap with her being on the elder side, cast differences, their parents were, almost, full of hatred for each other.. ughh ! but everytime he saw her.. it felt like the world stop and they knew it was worth it.. Then the unfortunate happened, she was married to a guy of her parent’s choice. She hated the guy but her dad’s ill health and family pressure made her succumb to the marriage. It took her just a week to realize it was her biggest mistake of her life. She confronted to her parents of her un-happiness only to realize that they don’t/won’t understand..For her parent’s happiness..she gave it another shot..6 months of a dead relationship..She knew it was a mistake but she thought she owed her parents that much.. 6 months later: Packed Bag. Teary Eyes. Anger. Alone.It’s over. This is not gonna work, ever. Whatever the reason might be.. none of the two people involved deserve a relationship which is empty. Maybe things might just get worse from here. Being Divorced is not easy and definitely not for the fairer sex but being in a house and regretting it every moment is worse than that. No matter how difficult, turning the page may seem like.. It’s time to start over..It’s time to start a new Life 🙂 Current Day: Setting up our new home.. White & Blue Curtains ? What Say? and white walls ? Krish just doesn’t help :/ lazy bones ! Ok, Krish is ordering some pizza, while I am thanking God for him and our Home. We looked this place at !! It’s perfect for our New Life ! It’s actually more than perfect 🙂

Could that be love?

Fuchsia Outbursts

She barely knew him but he insisted that he loved her before he proceeded to leave scars on her that could never be erased and then running away, but, she had used her the only thing she had – long nails, to leave marks too, to identify him to the police and ensure justice was served.


For all the women who have been harassed by men who claim to be in love with them only to have acid thrown in their faces or be raped or worse when they have not reciprocated the same kind of obsessive “love“…

This post is a part of a 55-Fiction celebration on Write Tribe.

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Another Page of a Diary..


The Perfect Love…. 🙂

Lets do it..
No-No… YOU r crazy..
No You r..shut up..
With that he holds her hand and they jump off d cliff into the deep blue sea water..
Meet Laura – Laura Awasthi, unusual name..Just like her..
Talkative yet doesn’t open up and boring yet interesting as Barney describes her..
Meet Barney – An advertisement creative head and travel blogger..
She is the finance head of the company he works for..
They r travelling across the globe to shoot a commercial..
He is already made her scuba dive..
Today was sky diving..


They have known each other only for just 6 months.. Between work and all the travelling.. Laura didn’t realize when Barney became the best friend to her mom, brother to Sakshi (her best friend) and everything she ever wanted.. Still, she wouldn’t tell him so.. She was someone who was scared of being hurt.. The sole reason why she had dodged all the potential relationships so far.. But Barn (As she called him) had his own way..he never gave her a chance to think, to escape.. He just entered her boxed life and opened all the windows..Initially she hated him for it.. But now she didn’t know how to live without him… But her feelings for him were still closed and sealed in the box..
She always thought that Barn wouldn’t love sum1 like her..
Too boring and plane- Jane for him..
She had decided with Sakshi once.
‘The day I’ll meet my perfect guy.. I’ll sing ‘Tumse Milke aisa laga, tumse milke armaan hue poore dil ke.. And confess my love..’ The only person she ever wanted to do it for was Barn..Millions of time.. But what if he laughs at me? What if I lose he friendship ?Am not good enough for him.. All these thoughts and she ignored the feelings.


Today was her b’day..He had arranged for a home theater in the resort they were staying.. He sat up with her watching DDLJ and had arranged for the episodes of Grey’s Anatomy..He had baked a cake for her and ordered her favorite food.. She was touched.. It was time for her gift.. He took her to the other room, blind-folded..
The wall was completely covered by a photo frame..With pictures of her, her family, her friends and them..
She didn’t know how to react and amazed and touched by what she thought was the best gift ever, she turned to thank him… Before she could say something…Barn took out his phone and called up Mom and Sakshi and as soon as they answered he said.. M doing it..Do I have Your permission..They said a yes, rejoiced, wished him luck and left Laura clueless…
He went on his knees and Laura felt as if she stopped breathing..


He then said (sang)
‘Tumse milke aisa laga .. Tunse milke.. Armaan hua poore dil ke..
I know its your song, but I just had to sing it.. I know you think i am crazy but you don’t know that its you that i am crazy about.. YOU make me a better person, you make me believe in God.  you make me believe in forevers and hope for make me happy and lastly you make me complete.
I didnt know when it happned.. But I do know that I wanna spend my life with YOU.. So Ms. Laura Awasthi, will you please, please be mine, for today, tomorrow and forever??

Laura was crying.. She sat on her knees too and hugged him and whispered.
.I thought the frame/ pictures were my best birthday gift ever, I was wrong.. Its You !

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The Boy who calls me Sugar – II

My grand-daughter Saanjh is 21 & is going through the phase where she doesnt known if she loves this particular guy.. She is unsure..
She thinks asking me a few questions may help her get sorted..I was more than happy to help..
She knew parts of my Life story…We were best friends..
So she begins :
How do u know when sumone is the one.. How did u know he was the one .. ??
I didn’t.. All i knew was that I wanted him to be .. And mayb thats wat it is about..A feeling so strong for someone that it fills ur heart & life .. It doesn’t leave space for any other feeling..

So how did you know you were in Love?
I did not.. Not at first instance atleast..I was 18, and immature and took me endless crying nights, silly fights and another girl in his life to realise that..

And then..she is getting curious..

Then I told him..

She smiled..But I interrupted..No-No , it wasnt that it was happily ever after that..Many heart-breaks and countless sleepless nights followed.. Anyways.. Its d feeling that had made me d happiest person at a point..

Ohk.. Now temme.. Which is the one thing u loved d most about him??
One?? Thats a difficult one.. I was in love with everything about him.. But if U ask me.. It was d way he said my name..
But he didn’t, rite?
I smile.. It was my name for was who I was for him.. Everytime I heard Him say it, My heart skipped a beat..It was magical..
Completing my sentence I looked at the door..My husband was standing there, Staring at me, blushing..
I got up and tripped a little, as always..He came running towards me and held my hand..”Sugar, idiot be careful na..”
All it did was made me hug him and smile..

We looked at Saanjh.. She looked at us and knew the answers to her own questions now..
She leaves the room..

Smiling at me wickedly, he asks By the way, who were u talking about ??
I looked in his old yet gorgeous eyes and said”The Boy who calls me Sugar”

Smile More. Laugh often. Love Always !

Just saying…

The Day this blog was made, I Thought to myself finally, I’ll pour my heart out…

But then After my First few posts, I Didn’t write anything not coz I don’t have anything to write, but coz I never knew how to share my feelings… I tried.. but then after a point , I lost it..

But today, I decided I shall write as why I haven’t been active off late ( & I intend being active hence-forth)

As I said I was not someone who could talk & express myself easily.. Therefore, I started writing my dairy when I was 15 !

My diary was always my best friend. . . .

I wrote about how I had spend the day, I wrote about the things I wished for. . .I wrote about about my not so good Intentions. . .I wrote my dreams. . .ETCETRA

But then A day came when I met someone…who I didn’t know would become my new diary . . .The only Difference. . Unlike my old diary. . .I Didn’t have to tell him when my day didn’t turn out well. . .I didn’t have to mention a sorrow. . .A ‘Hello’ on the phone would make him understand everything. . .Weird. . That is what I first thought it to be. . but after a while. . .I realised its not weird but its Beautiful . . .It was one of the most unusual relationships ever. .We were, in true words, Opposites. . he loved Black and I love White. . .He , a hard core non – vegeterian . . I am a pure Veg. . . and I go on and on…. But some where whenever we were together, there was a sense of happiness, neither of us felt before. . .

2 years passed, Our Friendship grew stronger by the day, We had our share of Ups and Downs . . .but at the end of it. . . We both knew the way we felt for each other. . .was Different . .It made us feel Happy. . .It made us feel Complete. . .

Until, as fate would have it, certain problems leaded to a phase where My Best Friend started thinking I deserve better people in my life. . .I Hate him for it. . . I lost him. . Lost my Diary . . .

But today, I realize, Beneath the Friendship we shared, I had started to fall in love with him.. Totally.. .  .  .

I know he’ll never read this . . . but I Want him to Know . . .

You are not my Soul-mate..You are some one who makes me feel complete. . .You are someone for whom I thank God. . .every single day of my life. . .

         THE BREATH TO MY LIFE . . .


(p.s : He’s also the boy who calls me Sugar ! )

The Boy who calls me Sugar !

He enters my room, looks at my gloomy face & being the best friend he is, says.. Sugar, Wanna go for a walk ?? I nod and go out with him. We walk and walk , without uttering a single word. Reaching Marine Drive, we both sit down at our usual place.. Everything still unsaid.. Sitting next to him, gazing at the sea.. Such a known feeling.. Nothing around me, just us! I can make out the silence talking. I Realise that he is looking at me with a question in his eyes and mind..Typical him ! Just staring.. I still dont say anything..Am thinking, Stop Staring , just like old times.. And then interupting the silent conversation, I tell him.. “Aditya proposed me !” He is sill looking at me, blankly.. I continue “He says we both will be great together and all that” “So?” comes the question.. “So?” I revert. “What did you say?” “Nothing, what else do I say ?” “So you said a yes ?” “No”, I answer blankly. “You said a no!” I can smell the happiness in his voice. Looking him in the eye, first time in the entire evening, I say, “Yea, I said a No.” “Why ?” “What do you mean by why ?” “Why did you say a no ?” “Cause I dont wanna be with him.”I say ; as a matter of fact. Why ? “Cant you just stop asking questions?” “No, I cant. Why ?” “What why ?” “Why do you not wanna be with him?” “Because.. ” I look below at the sea.Trying to control all the emotions stuck in he form an idiotic tear ready to roll down my eye..I close my eyes, “Nothing !” Ignoring my reply, he asks..” Because ?” Without thinking, I say ” because I want to be with someone else..Okay ? Happy ? ” “Who ?” “Can we stop talking about this ?” “Am asking you something !” “And I am going..” I get up to make a move. “Sugar, Who ?” I stop and look at him with all the love that has been with me for years.. “I want to be with, The Boy who calls me Sugar”..

Smile More. Laugh often. Love Always !

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