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The Incomplete Goodbye..

Sitting at the window of their favorite restaurant.. Sameer looked around.. it seemed like yesterday, when they had visited this place for the first time.. Rhea had loved the decor and they both, Big foodies, had loved the food ūüôā

Rhea : Look at the dim lights, we will use the same for our home, okay ?

Sameer : Yeah.. it’ll be your home.. do it the way you like..

Rhea : Lazy bum, it’ll be our home..

Sameer : Oh yes ! Our home..

and he touched her hair strands falling on her cheeks and put it aside.. She loved it when he did that.. she wished her hair would fall more on her face so he could do it often..

His thoughts were disturbed by the waiter. He looked outside.. a cab had halted and Rhea had stepped out.. She looked simple.. still  attractive.. he kept gazing at her and wished he could feel the way he did for her earlier..

They had¬†a perfect love story till Rhea had to marry some-one else under family pressure.¬†6 months later Rhea realized what an ass her husband is..¬†He was an %$*&^)#@ who believed that women¬†are made for household work. Forcing her into physical relationship without her consent,¬†dominating her over every thing.. She had had enough. She left him against her family’s¬†will.. It was the most difficult time in her life.. The world seemed against her but¬†Sameer was there for her. Always.

After the divorce, Rhea took up a new course and moved to another city. Sameer had to finish his studies too. They both agreed that they needed time off. Rhea had been through a lot and needed her confidence, her life back. She gave all her energy and time to her new course and new job.

Sameer too got busy with his MBA and on weekends he would spend it with old friends and Shruti..

Sameer, Rhea and Shruti were a gang.. Things were perfect till Sameer and Rhea started having feelings for each other.. Shruti came to know about it later, a little too late, cause by then she had feelings for Sameer herself.. But she let it go.. Rhea always thought that Sameer and Shruti are perfect for each other but she loved him. They all had accepted all of this between them and tried to keep the friendship unchanged. With Rhea away,¬†Shruti and Sameer spent a lot of time together.¬†A year later, Sameer felt so distant from¬†Rhea that it didn’t feel like a relationship anymore.. and he didn’t even realize when the friendship between Shruti and him and turned more than just being best friends..

Today, it had been 2 years from the time Sameer and Rhea had met..¬†They had a very honest relationship from the start.. Today, Rhea was herself again and couldn’t wait to meet Sameer.. On the other hand, Sameer had to tell her about Shruti..

Rhea entered and hugged Sameer.. She couldn’t stop her tears..¬†The happiness to see him after so long, it was nothing she could express.. Sameer felt equally happy to see her but what he was going to tell her would change things forever..

A few silent conversations later, Rhea said with a grin: So, you’ve put on¬†weight.. See, I told you,you’d look hotter with a little weight..

Sameer smiled : I was always this hot..

Rhea : Yeah Sure..anyways, how have you been ? and any job placements yet ? How are your Mom and Dad ?

Sameer : Hello, breathe ! KBC !

Rhea smiled : It’s been so long

Sameer wryly smiled : Yes, It’s been too long. *pause* Rhea..

Rhea looked scared.. : This has been first time in years that I am hearing you say my name.. It feels weird..

She didn’t say it but she felt that this one word has increased their distance more than ever before.. he never called her by her name.. never..

She looked in his eye.. she realized there was something he wanted to say and by the look of it.. it felt like she is gonna hate it.. She had knew every heart-beat of his..

He was staring her right in the eye..It wasn’t the way he looked at her..

and then she realized how difficult it is for him to say whatever he was trying to.. and then she took a deep breathe, looked down and asked him in a shivering voice.. Is.. is there someone else ? are you..do you ..love someone else..?

Sameer held her hand.. He had loved her with all her heart and hated to do this ti her.. but he couldn’t love her more.. He couldn’t hide it from her.. Yes.. I didn’t know how.. but it just.. I Know.. but..

He couldn’t find the right words..

There was silence for what felt like hours to them. She have had nightmares of this, but always thought that their love was old-school and forever types.. but then, she knew he did love her truly for the time they were He had been though a lot for her.. He didn’t give up on her when it was the easiest to do.. but then people grow up and people grow apart.. it doesn’t mean that it wasn’t love.. it just means that .. she couldn’t think of what that meant..

She realized he wouldn’t have done this if he had any control over feelings.. she knew that he was the last person on earth who would wanna¬†hurt her deliberately.. He had given her a lot.. She couldn’t take it all away for this.. He was human.. It was bound to happen..

and then she looked at him and asked : Shruti ?

He nodded and she smiled.

They had this innumerable fights which would always end with Rhea saying “We are way too different and¬†Shruti¬†is your soulmate.. go, go marry her..” She always was possessive about him towards Shruti but she also knew that they were best friends and with time she had made peace with it..and now, everything she had imagined was coming true.. It was¬†heart-breaking but funny..

She kept smiling.

She wanted him to be happy.. with or without her.. he deserved it.

She picked her bag and came on the other side of the table to hug a little lost Sameer.. and said “I love you enough to let you go but I can’t say a goodbye.. I hate it but let this be a unfinished-incomplete goodbye.. cause it leaves me with a hope..” she kissed him on his forehead and never looked back !

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P.S : Please do lemme know what you guys think of this story ?

What if I don’t wake up tomorrow ?

For more than a month now , I have been sleeping with a hope of not getting up the next day..

and then today morning, When I felt really alone.. I thought to myself.. Is this ME ?

I have been someone who fought and did not wish for a easier way-out ever.. So, today instead of hoping that I don’t get up ..I thought of what if I really don’t wake up tomorrow ?

What will happen to the dreams I yet have to full-fill.. dreams of painting walls around the world, or becoming a home-chef..

What will happen to the unfinished stories in my head and the blank pages of my diary ?

What will happen to my hard-earned CA Degree ?

What about the people I forgot to confess my love to or the chances I never took ?

What about the places I am yet to see and the books I have never read ?

What about the life I wanted to cherish and the home that I wanted to build.. the wishes yet to be full-filled and the ones that I still have to make ?

Its’s not about the suffering of my¬†family or the emptiness in the life of the Man I love.. The vacuum in the life of¬†people who love me… It’s about Me !

Song of the Day : I Say a Little Prayer for you (My Best Friend’s Wedding)

I have always loved the song and the movie.. especially for its not so usual but happy ending ūüôā

The moment I wake up
Before I put on my makeup
I say a little pray for you
While combing my hair now,
And wondering what dress to wear now,
I say a little prayer for you

Forever, and ever, you’ll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever, and ever, we never will part
Oh, how I love you
Together, forever, that’s how it must be
To live without you
Would only mean heart-break for me.

I run for the bus, dear,
While riding I think of us, dear,
I say a little prayer for you.
At work I just take time
And all through my coffee break-time,
I say a little prayer for you.

Forever, and ever, you’ll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever, and ever we never will part
Oh, how I’ll love you
Together, forever, that’s how it must be
To live without you
Would only mean heartbreak for me.

I say a little prayer for you

I say a little prayer for you

My darling believe me, ( believe me)
For me there is no one but you!
Please love me too 
And I’m in love with you¬†
Answer my prayer now babe 

Forever, and ever, you’ll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever, and ever we never will part
Oh, how I’ll love you
Together, forever, that’s how it must be
To live without you
Would only mean heartbreak for me 

 

To Belong…

I walk and stare at this growing abstraction in my life.
I’ve never stopped and seen..
always overlooked, and this day, it comes right at me.
Faltering and crashing
Like the waves of an ugly beach.
Littered and shallow,
Death be his foe, and I his friend.
I’ve never walked this beach before,
And the place seems new.
The routes all wrong,
And the wind turns around.
Stagnation and sorrow are my only friends,
Playing the Devil’s advocate,
Right in my head.
If only I knew, how to just run,
Walk through the soft sands of what was once
A land of mine
A place I belonged to
Wherein love and lust
Intertwined as two
Where happiness was permanent
And sorrow at bay
Where the lonely boats smiled
Leaving pain astray
Where the shallowness of life
Was replaced by the depths of passion
Where the single human eye
Found her reflection
Where she saw all his dreams
And they lived a life together
Where they knew even if the stream
Fell down to a river
And the river to the waterfall edge
They stood hand in hand
Heads held up
And faith in their heart.
They knew that one leap
Made all the difference
In death the bitterness of life
Never mattered on infliction
It was the strength of the supreme
The valor of love
That pulled two souls out together
Out of convulsed rapids, forever.

Song of the DAy : Mirrors (Justin Timberlake)

Aren’t you somethin’ to admire, cause your shine is somethin’ like a mirror
And I can’t help but notice, you reflect in this heart of mine
If you ever feel alone and the glare makes me hard to find
Just know that I’m always parallell on the other side

Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul
I can tell you there’s no place we couldn’t go
Just put your hand on the glass, I’ll be tryin’ to pull you through
You just gotta be strong

Cause I don’t wanna lose you now
I’m lookin’ right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space that now you hold
Show me how to fight for now
And I’ll tell you baby, it was easy
Comin’ back into you once I figured it out
You were right here all along
It’s like you’re my mirror
My mirror staring back at me
I couldn’t get any bigger
With anyone else beside of me
And now it’s clear as this promise
That we’re making two reflections into one
Cause it’s like you’re my mirror
My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me

 

R for Rains #AtoZChallenge

R for Rains #AtoZChallenge.

“Ever carried anyone’s heart with yours?”

She gazes out the window,
wondering what can make her swallow her pain..
All she sees are the city things,
never the sunlight on the dying grain.

The winds blow, touching her cheeks..
Appear the clouds, to not let the Sun burn her skin..
Flowers blossom, knowing she’s unwell,
wondering if forever, that’s where she remains..

She knows all the efforts the nature puts in,
not being a stranger.
To make her feel good again
and not to give in and be the same mess-maker.

How she wishes the winds knew,
that those remind her of a fragrance..
How she wishes the clouds understood,
protecting her, they multiply his absence.

The winds blow faster,
the flowers grow bigger,
Telling her not to be afraid..
The sun goes down like setting a crown,
of inspiration and desires, on her head.

For her life seems without any pleasing sky,
down the street, across the breeze,
there comes a butterfly.
Asking her if or not can she feel a thing,
she looks at it, about to cry.
Says, “Strange is all that feels my heart.
Though I ain’t a queen of spades,
I’m rich enough, to feel this pain,
The passionate pain that sharpens the blade.
Feels out of the picture, like kept in a cage.
Not a nice place, for each satisfaction,
but a cruel place, for each remorse.
The butterfly simply rose, gathering up its courage.

Asking, “Ever carried anyone’s heart with yours?”

Mine..

Some moments are real,
some are fake,
some stories actually happen,
and some we make…
if every good thing
has been said and done,
wonder would life still gift us those treasure of fun ūüôā
while everybody were looking
for the best thing they can find,
i would hold you and say,
“i would ve found you even if i was blind.”
Some people love,
some people hate,
some people beleive this life isnt perfect,
some think the the key is just to wait.
while nations cary out war..,
i scream “cheers” with you
for this day at our hangout bar ūüôā
some say the future is dark,
some say its not,
some live in their past,
some are so glad that it didn’t last.
i listen to them confused,
what is comin up next ???
you tap my head and say “relax..!!
tommorow is coming with something new and best”
hmmmmm..
so whats the moral,
what am i trying to say here?
i seem to have lost my sense and nothing is really clear
confusion wraps me up,
somebody please get me
another glass of wine (It would make the poem rhyme..so)…!!!!
and that time may test us,
but I¬†know for sure that you are all mine ūüôā

R for Rains #AtoZChallenge

15th May 2014..

As always she needed her sign. “God ! Do I take this ahead. I¬†like him.. more than that actually.. but long-run this is going to be complicated.. so, temme.. Gimme a sign ! Do I take this ahead :)”

She met him. They went to this particular spot .. her favourite place in Mumbai ! She had been there before.. She had in-her-own-way loved before.. But this .. it was not like before.. it was so different.. this love was special.. in a way it was¬†forever.. she knew how difficult this relationship could be.. But she wanted to give this a shot, but wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to do.. for herself and most importantly for him..

She had wanted to hug him.. but didn’t know if¬†she should.. Cause it would change things between them forever..midst of all this thots.. a drop fell from the sky.. and their there was another.. and then it rained.. (Drizzled to be more specific !) .

It felt as if it had just rained for her.. Rains were her favourite thing in the world.. and it rained in May.. It was her sign.. and within a micro-moment.. She hugged him..

He Exclaimed with a mixture of Shock and Excitement.. She couldn’t stop smiling.. “shit ! I made the first move.. what if its not what he wants ūüė¶ “

On the way back.. she looked at the watch that she had gifted him the night before.. “I like the watch, its nice..na?”¬†

“Yeah! I love it ! ¬†more than that I love the girl who gave it to me”

and that night he told her he¬†loved her.. and she did too.. and it¬†might have not rained a lot that day.. but it definitely rained love.. for them ūüôā

15th May 2019..

She looks at the sea.. It is the same.. like it was five years back.. but everything else had changed. Tjat day she had found the person she thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with.. But life had its own plans.. Circumstances made her maintain unwanted distances with him. She was now living alone in Himachal Pradesh. But on this day every-year, she came to Bombay ! She came to the area where it had all begun, but not the same spot..

She was not sure if he would be there.. what if ¬†he wasn’t ? what if he had moved on.. She had wanted to meet him but was scared that the last hope of being with him would die if he had moved on. She wanted to keep that alive.. she was scared to know the reality.. she had found her bliss in¬†Ignorance.. but still, she¬†knew it couldn’t go on like this forever.. So she prayed every year.. for a sign..

She was reliving those memories again.. when a droplet from the sky fell on her hand.. another one on her cheek.. she looked up with tears in here eyes.. It was Raining.. It was Raining !

With a nervous smile on her face.. and rainwater and tears  flowing from her face.. se walked.. for the first time in five years.. she walked towards the place that was her favourite place in the world..

Thanks to the un-expected rains.. the crowd had vanished.. but with rainy-blurred eyes she saw a man sitting at the same spot.. getting drenched..

She couldn’t see his face..¬†She walked closer..¬†close enough . His back was facing her.. but then she saw and smiled with all tears that had been treasured for all those years..

“That’s a nice watch you have. I like it. It’s nice na ? ” She choked, breaking down with all the happiness that¬†this rain had given her.

He turned. Crying out of what was sheer -pure-happiness.. he muttered

“Yeah! I love it ! more than that I love the girl who gave it to me”

He hugged her before anything else could be said. They had waited too long for this.. The Rains stopped.. but their love had just begun !

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