Secretive Writer

Random Ramblings .. I write.. I live… I love..



The blessing with sunrise is that it goes and it comes…

The trouble with sunrise is that it comes and it goes. And the gardens, when in a sombre mood, while filled with thorns, will be devoid of a single rose. I accept that clouds will hover sometimes and to give us false promise of rain. But, bubbles will form and bubbles will burst and bubbles will form again. Smilingly, I will say, silent will be my screams, cold will be my anger and empty will be my pain.


The one charm of the past is that it is the past. (by Oscar Wilde) But, the winds do not know this. Sometimes, the winds have come and gone centuries ago, but the leaves are still rustling today. A tiny part of ocean lives inside us. What are oceans, if not the tears of the earth? All the pain piled together at one place over time and time again. The pain of lost moments and lost dreams. The pain of the future that couldn’t be. What we are sad for is what we are. What we do to overcome the sadness is what we can be. All brave hearts are meant to be broken. A few braver hearts are meant to heal. All we need is a little will.

There is a reason why we can not carve a piece of our heart and keep it for safekeeping for a distant future. We are always in it with everything we have got. We can not catch a spark. It flickers and go. But, sometimes, it can bless us with a fire in our darkest times. Times that tell me, if I am the person I do not want to be or I am the person I imagined myself to be. Like most other things, perhaps, the truth lies somewhere in between.

Sometimes, I tend to sink under my own heavy heartbeats. When that happens, just tell me how we met, and I will find our happiness even in lonely streets. I want you to know, there was a place inside my heart that I had never visited before. The path, which led there, I never knew, existed. Until now.

Time and moments will rush by and we will remain strong together. WE. Me and Words. Words and Meaning. Meaning and Life. Life and You. Every time, we will trust each other, we will trust ourselves a little more. The path ahead is beautiful, colorful and also spotted with troubled rocks. Kiss them. They will turn into fragrant sunflowers. They will wait for the morning.Because, the blessing with sunrise is that it goes and it comes.


Date a girl who reads..

This is not written by me, I read it somewhere..

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.

Just BE

Just BE.

Today I want to write about a girl and a boy and beating the odds.And about pure, old-fashioned love. The kind that’s independent of everything.
Today I want to write of sparkling sunshine and wooden roofs which lets in the sunshine.
Today I want to write about two people who met and had a story to tell. A story that became a legend. A story that had no beginnings and no ends. One which is young and old and so contradictory to every idea they held valuable.
Today I want to write about summers and stars, and the rains which came and went when they spread happiness.
Today I want to write about the Romantics. And art, and Galileo who loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.
Today I want to write about white lies and second chances. And third and fourth and fifth ones. And goodbyes and promises to come back.
Today I want to write about wavy curly hair and shampoo that smells wonderful. And chocolates brownies. And a little bit of heart-break for all the right reasons.
Today I want to write about all the seas there are, and all the salt in the air above them. And how all the best people are always slightly kooky up in the head, in the best way there is.
Today I want to write about the things that make me smile when everything is messed
Today I want to write about glorious endings and perfect tomorrows.

Love is..

Love is...

To Belong…

I walk and stare at this growing abstraction in my life.
I’ve never stopped and seen..
always overlooked, and this day, it comes right at me.
Faltering and crashing
Like the waves of an ugly beach.
Littered and shallow,
Death be his foe, and I his friend.
I’ve never walked this beach before,
And the place seems new.
The routes all wrong,
And the wind turns around.
Stagnation and sorrow are my only friends,
Playing the Devil’s advocate,
Right in my head.
If only I knew, how to just run,
Walk through the soft sands of what was once
A land of mine
A place I belonged to
Wherein love and lust
Intertwined as two
Where happiness was permanent
And sorrow at bay
Where the lonely boats smiled
Leaving pain astray
Where the shallowness of life
Was replaced by the depths of passion
Where the single human eye
Found her reflection
Where she saw all his dreams
And they lived a life together
Where they knew even if the stream
Fell down to a river
And the river to the waterfall edge
They stood hand in hand
Heads held up
And faith in their heart.
They knew that one leap
Made all the difference
In death the bitterness of life
Never mattered on infliction
It was the strength of the supreme
The valor of love
That pulled two souls out together
Out of convulsed rapids, forever.

R for Rains #AtoZChallenge

15th May 2014..

As always she needed her sign. “God ! Do I take this ahead. I like him.. more than that actually.. but long-run this is going to be complicated.. so, temme.. Gimme a sign ! Do I take this ahead :)”

She met him. They went to this particular spot .. her favourite place in Mumbai ! She had been there before.. She had in-her-own-way loved before.. But this .. it was not like before.. it was so different.. this love was special.. in a way it was forever.. she knew how difficult this relationship could be.. But she wanted to give this a shot, but wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to do.. for herself and most importantly for him..

She had wanted to hug him.. but didn’t know if she should.. Cause it would change things between them forever..midst of all this thots.. a drop fell from the sky.. and their there was another.. and then it rained.. (Drizzled to be more specific !) .

It felt as if it had just rained for her.. Rains were her favourite thing in the world.. and it rained in May.. It was her sign.. and within a micro-moment.. She hugged him..

He Exclaimed with a mixture of Shock and Excitement.. She couldn’t stop smiling.. “shit ! I made the first move.. what if its not what he wants 😦 “

On the way back.. she looked at the watch that she had gifted him the night before.. “I like the watch, its” 

“Yeah! I love it !  more than that I love the girl who gave it to me”

and that night he told her he loved her.. and she did too.. and it might have not rained a lot that day.. but it definitely rained love.. for them 🙂

15th May 2019..

She looks at the sea.. It is the same.. like it was five years back.. but everything else had changed. Tjat day she had found the person she thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with.. But life had its own plans.. Circumstances made her maintain unwanted distances with him. She was now living alone in Himachal Pradesh. But on this day every-year, she came to Bombay ! She came to the area where it had all begun, but not the same spot..

She was not sure if he would be there.. what if  he wasn’t ? what if he had moved on.. She had wanted to meet him but was scared that the last hope of being with him would die if he had moved on. She wanted to keep that alive.. she was scared to know the reality.. she had found her bliss in Ignorance.. but still, she knew it couldn’t go on like this forever.. So she prayed every year.. for a sign..

She was reliving those memories again.. when a droplet from the sky fell on her hand.. another one on her cheek.. she looked up with tears in here eyes.. It was Raining.. It was Raining !

With a nervous smile on her face.. and rainwater and tears  flowing from her face.. se walked.. for the first time in five years.. she walked towards the place that was her favourite place in the world..

Thanks to the un-expected rains.. the crowd had vanished.. but with rainy-blurred eyes she saw a man sitting at the same spot.. getting drenched..

She couldn’t see his face.. She walked closer.. close enough . His back was facing her.. but then she saw and smiled with all tears that had been treasured for all those years..

“That’s a nice watch you have. I like it. It’s nice na ? ” She choked, breaking down with all the happiness that this rain had given her.

He turned. Crying out of what was sheer -pure-happiness.. he muttered

“Yeah! I love it ! more than that I love the girl who gave it to me”

He hugged her before anything else could be said. They had waited too long for this.. The Rains stopped.. but their love had just begun !



Every once in a while I go into shut down mode, when nothing else matters. I lose track of my day and my life.I sit down to write a very stupid-serious piece, which would probably make sense to no one but me. I may publish it but most of the time it remains as page of my diary.. I listen to a lot of soulful music, they seem to be made to live in sync with my state of being at the time, not be confused with a sudden awakening or spiritualism. It just touches my inner chord. “Hallelujah” is one such for the moment, ceasing my being altogether.


“Hallelujah” is a song written by Canadian singer-songwriter Leonard Cohen, originally released on his album Various Positions in 1984. Achieving little initial success, the song found greater popular acclaim through a cover by John Cale, which later formed the basis for a cover by Jeff Buckley. Many cover versions have been performed over the years, both in recordings and in concert, with over 300 versions known. The song has been used in film and television soundtracks, and televised talent contests. It is often called one of the greatest songs of all time.


“Hallelujah”, in its original version, is a song in “6/8 feel”, which evokes both waltz and gospel music. The Welsh singer-songwriter John Cale, the first person to record a cover version of the song in 1991, promoted a message of soberness and sincerity in contrast to Cohen’s dispassionate tone. The cover by Jeff Buckley, an American singer-songwriter, is more sorrowful and was described by Buckley as “a hallelujah to the orgasm”. In September 2007, a poll of fifty songwriters conducted listed “Hallelujah” among the all-time “Top 10 Greatest Tracks”.


The lyrics are poignant and the melody is soul stirring. Buckley’s version was not an instant hit, nor did Buckley live to see the full measure of the reception his recording would ultimately have; he died in 1997. Am not an authority and am not a musician but Jeff Buckley’s version of “Hallelujah” does it for me each time.


The Lyrics




Well I heard there was a secret chord


That David played and it pleased the Lord


But you don’t really care for music, do you?


Well it goes like this:


The fourth, the fifth,


The minor fall and the major lift


The baffled king composing Hallelujah




Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah…




Your faith was strong but you needed proof


You saw her bathing on the roof


Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you


She tied you to her kitchen chair


She broke your throne and she cut your hair


And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah




Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah…




Baby I’ve been here before


I’ve seen this room and I’ve walked this floor (you know)


I used to live alone before I knew you


And I’ve seen your flag on the marble arch


And love is not a victory march


It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah




Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah…




There was a time when you let me know


What’s really going on below


But now you never show that to me, do you?


But remember when I moved in you


And the holy dove was moving too


And every breath we drew was Hallelujah




Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah…




Maybe there’s a God above


But all I’ve ever learned from love


Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you


And it’s not a cry that you hear at night


It’s not somebody who’s seen the light


It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah




Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah…


Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah…


Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah


Hallelujah, hallelujah

L for Love Letters #AtoZChallenge

L for Love Letters #AtoZChallenge.

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